Independent · Unsponsored · Unwell
We fly to your race. We pre-ride your course. We Chung test until the sun goes down. Then we mail you a tire and never speak of it again.
The method
Virtual elevation testing on your actual course. Same lap, same rider, same power, different rubber. When the trace closes back on itself, we know your rolling resistance. When it doesn't, we ride it again. And again. The consultant will not stop. The consultant has nowhere to be.
Drag the trace · 6.2 km wide
Race roster · 14 courses on file
Every course below has been ridden by a consultant who was not entered, was not expected, and was not, in the end, thanked. The surface notes are current. The booking windows are not. If your race is not on the list we will still come — we will simply be learning in public.
Unbound 200
Emporia, KS
flint. it is all flint. we lost a consultant here.
Status: Waitlist
The Mid South
Stillwater, OK
red clay. dry it is a road, wet it is a decision. you will not finish on the tire you started on.
Status: Now booking
Dust Bowl 100
Eminence, IN
the dust bowl was in oklahoma. this race is in indiana. our consultant found that out at the airport.
Status: Now booking
Barry‑Roubaix
Hastings, MI
april in michigan: sand, two-track, and a live possibility of snow. we advise a coat.
Status: Now booking
Gravel Locos
Hico, TX
seventy miles northwest of waco. the entry funds the volunteer fire department. draw your own conclusions.
Status: Now booking
SBT GRVL
Steamboat Springs, CO
they call it champagne gravel. it is smooth. there is nothing for us to do here. we will still come.
Status: Waitlist
Crusher in the Tushar
Beaver, UT
10,500 feet of climbing, finishing at a ski resort. no tire fixes this. we tested for eleven hours anyway.
Status: Now booking
Oregon Trail Gravel Grinder
Cascade Range, OR
five days, and the camp moves every night. our consultant is good at this and it has become a personality.
Status: Now booking
The Traka 360
Girona, Spain
360 km. the front group is nine road pros on holiday. bring food. then bring more food.
Status: Waitlist
Badlands
Granada, Spain
two deserts, unsupported, pico veleta at the end. sidewalls, not tread. that is the whole conversation.
Status: Now booking
The Rift
Hvolsvöllur, Iceland
the river crossing is real. bring a second consultant.
Status: Waitlist
Migration Gravel Race
Maasai Mara, Kenya
four stages of cattle track. the kenyan team will ride away from you. that is not a tire problem.
Status: Now booking
Gravel Burn
Knysna, South Africa
seven days, the karoo, finishing at a big-five game reserve. we hold no data on lions. we are collecting some.
Status: Now booking
Great Divide Mountain Bike Race
Banff, AB → Antelope Wells, NM
2,745 self-supported miles. this is not a gravel race and we are not qualified. we would still like to come.
Status: Out of depth
Race names are real. Everything to the right of them is not. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or in any way known to a single event on this list.
Service tiers
Every tier ends the same way: someone tells you what to run, with conviction, and you stop thinking about it. That is the product. The testing is how we arrive at the conviction.
On site · We fly · We choose
The full deployment. A human being goes to where your race is.
Consultant will not stay for the race. Consultant will not spectate. Consultant has their own races and is, frankly, in better form than you.
On site · We fly · You choose
You have already narrowed it to two. We settle it on the ground.
If both of your picks are wrong we will tell you, gently, in a PDF. We will not test a third tire. That is a different tier and you know it.
Remote · We read · We ask around
No flights. Just an unreasonable amount of desk research.
You think you have read enough race reports. You have not. The backchannel is a group chat. We are in it. That is the service.
Add-on · Any tier
Consultant will prepare a fresh chain for your racing steed, meticulously massaging the wax into each link.
Hot wax Immersion A dedicated crock pot that has never seen food
Consultant supplies the wax. Consultant does not supply the chain. Consultant will ask what chain it is and will react.
Your chain will be quieter
than your training partner
I ran a 2.2 at Unbound and my hands still have giardia. — Drew Dillman, probably · Bonk Bros · invented for this website
When you dial in sleep, nutrition, and training then you can consider this service. — Scott McGill, probably · Bonk Bros · invented for this website
Discreet billing
You are about to spend four figures on tire advice. How that reads on your end is a formatting question. Pick a descriptor at checkout and the charge posts under it. We have never been asked what the charge was, because nobody has ever asked.
The last one is arguably accurate.
Descriptor rules
The invoice we email you is itemized and accurate, because an invoice is a document. The statement line is twenty-two characters and we are not precious about them.
Frequently raised objections
Yes. Coach, middle seat, bike bag checked. You are paying for the tires and the opinion, not the seat.
We do not discuss inserts.
We can tell you what Keegan ran. We cannot tell you why, and we cannot tell you where we heard it. Do not ask us at the start line.
Marginally. That is the entire sport. If you wanted a large improvement you would have hired a coach instead, and you did not, and we both know why.
You own four wheelsets.
Whatever you tell it to look like. You set the descriptor at checkout and the charge posts under it. The invoice is still itemized, still accurate, and still says the word tires several times.
Not once the tire is mounted. Sealant is a one-way door and so is this relationship.
Request received
A consultant will not contact you.
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